I went to the dr on a Wednesday. The next day I had an appt for a pre-op with a different dr- the one who would be doing the surgery since my usual one couldn't. (That has ended up being a huge blessing in disguise!). Then my surgery happened not even a week later on Tuesday.
The closer I got to my surgery the more nervous I became... I don't love needles, and I was admittedly scared and worried of what they would/wouldn't find. The day before the surgery I went in for an appt with the hospital... Finding out this small out-patient procedure was going to be thousands of dollars was definitely a low point of that day. I called my husband crying and upset, but he calmly talked me through it and we prayed to know if we should still go through with it all. We felt that we should- so we did.
That night (the night before) my husband gave me another priesthood blessing. I can't begin to describe the peace and comfort that the words he spoke gave me. I actually slept well that night and felt calm all through the next day- including the surgery.
The long and short of all the results are that I don't have endometriosis, and my uterus is pretty much perfect. They did flush out my Fallopian tubes to make sure nothing was clogging them, and then when they did a histaroscopy they found a polyp in the inside at the top of my cervix that they removed. They don't think it's cancerous, but it's being tested, and they thought it could have been blocking things.
It's been over a week since the surgery, and although the recovery was slow and achy and painful at first, I'm doing much better now. Now, I just have to work as hard as I can to stay positive that everything will work out. This new dr is very proactive and told us she wants to do artificial insemination (A.I.) right away. I started another round of chlomid and we go in next week to do the A.I.
Because everything in this surgery is so expensive, we hope and pray with all our might that I might conceive in the next month or two so that all the pregnancy will be covered in our out of pocket maximum with insurance. This surgery alone is reaching our $5000 deductible, so we're almost at the out of pocket max. We just can't afford to pay this same deductible again in the next year so we pray with all our might that it will work in the next 2 months.
In some instances, it's so easy to just say "I've done all I can do" and leave it in the Lord's hands. But, in other ways I'm constantly thinking about it and my heart is breaking at the thought that it may not work.
I wish I had all the answers. I wish I always felt so peaceful and calm about it all. I wish my faith was always as strong as it could be. I will do my best, though, and give it my all. I know that He has the power to give me another child- I just have to have the faith to continue to move forward whether or not I am blessed with the desire of my heart.
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