It's been a long time since I've blogged about this. Really, I just needed a break. Since the last post we went ahead and did another A.I. (artificial insemination) and once again it didn't work. We had hoped and prayed that this time it might be different, but no such luck.
So we are taking a break -a mental, emotional, and physical break. No more prenatal vitamins; no more counting days; no more discussing it til we're blue in the face; no more hand-wringing over that stupid pregnancy test; no more calculated intimacy; no more "what-if's" and "maybe this time's"; NO MORE.
And let me tell you, its been really great -and I'm not just making that up. If my husband wants to take a hot bath in our jetted tub, he can. If I want to go to the gym and really push my body in my workout, I do. If we want to do anything that was until recently considered not good for conceiving -we do and we will.
It has been so freeing to not even know what day of my cycle I'm on. There has come a lot of peace with all of this, and I'm holding on to it as much as I can -cause I know it won't last forever. For now, though, I'm just grateful for this break.
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